Nigerian Email Scam

dear mister sir
my name is Jesus Happy John Thomas Bockawawa. i work for Nigerian Export Bank counting much money.

i got lucky when bank made a mistake not looking I put money in lunch bag.  I need your help move $90,000,000 to Swiss bank account. if you help me I will give you half money plus eternal life, white robes wear, rulership over many cities, you will see your dead christadelphian friends and relatives when I resurrect them and special bonus, God will wipe every tear from your eyes for ever.

send me your bank account details and Internet online banking password together with credit card number and security code and i promise all of above will be given you.

i will do it quickly. this generation won't pass before I fix all this stuff real good for you. I come like theif in night. but I no thief even police looking out for me.

you can trust me. here i prove it to you if you say i am liar. all my mates in kilawigii village say i once rose from dead an flew up into sky without balloon or plane. one of my ancestors predicted preservation of chinese diaspora for thousand of years. now see china great nation fulfil prophecy.  also fine tuning of universe means that i am telling you truth.

2,600 years ago I predict Egypt desolate for forty years. no happen yet. small mistake like I screwed up with tyre prophecy and nebuchadenzar conquer Egypt. keep waiting and eventually all of my failed prophecies will come true. Jonah say ninevah fall but ninevah not fall but whale not eat him again. does not matter if I make few mistake I only human after all. who you think I am? infallible like infidel pope? 

I wrote book of revelation. not one ever understood what it mean. that because I smoke good hashish when it wrote it and crate of whisky fell off truck outside my hut taste very good. I was stoned and my head hurt for weeks. when I woke up I had written apocalypse with beasts and frog spirits. frightened the **** out of me when I read it. I think I also wrote book of Daniel but I no remember long time ago took me a week to drink all that booze and I did some crazy things back then and wrote a bunch of ****

I have a talking snake also my ass talk. I mean ass with four legs like Balaam's ass I no talking out of my ass like my mamma say. 

if you think i ma no good lying hyena see lots of earthquakes wars and credit crunch on earth. trouble such as never was since elephant had short nose. many fossils in lagos museum prove flood and that I create earth six thousand years ago. some follsils are still wet from noah shem's flood. this all proof that you can tryst me. even super-genius ken Gilmore and jonathan burke tell everyone that I no liar and if reinterpret everything I say to mean what I no say. all makes sense to them. I have no idea what they talking bout but guys that clever can't be stupid can they?. 

please send credit card details quickly my family not eat for weeks.

trust me i'm a christadelphian.